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5 Gifts to Give to New Parents

Let's face it, receiving gifts is one of the biggest pleasures for new parents. Ah, oh, erm, I mean other than the bundle of joy you've just popped unto the world. [*looks around*, did I get away with it? Phew]. 

But sometimes those well-intentioned and generous gifts can be a little…well, vanilla. A bit meh. I was given countless cutesy bunnies and dozens of babygros that would have been rendered useless by all the family hand-me-downs I also received. So the gifts were put to good use by being exchanged for credit to buy stuff I actually needed or wanted. Ungrateful, maybe. Practical, yes. But I figured it would have been more ungrateful to use said onesie once and then relegate it to storage forevermore. 

So hopefully this list will give you a little head-start on what a mama actually needs, and will win you brownie points for ingenuity. If you get an actual brownie do pass it on. Sharing is caring after all. 

1 - Complete Works of **** - I'm loving the Winnie The Pooh complete works I was given and read a passage to Bean each night. He's much too young to understand but will still get so many benefits from our little bedtime tradition. Pick your favourite author from your childhood - Dahl, Hargreaves, Tolstoy - and get a really pukka set or beautifully printed edition. Cue years and years of happiness and fond memories.

2 - Door Letters / Name Plaque - Bean was given a really beautiful set of letters which adorn his door. I feel for the person who bought them as he has the Longest Name Ever, but I absolutely love them and they are perfick for setting the scene to his cosy nursery.

3 - Ewan the Dream Sheep - seriously cult product. You will get major kudos for this. Not only are you giving an awesome sound machine but you are also promising the gift of sleep. Just. Epic.

4 - Keepsake Box - Most retailers do some sort of keepsake box and, really, most will fit the bill and please Ma. You could even craft it up and give it a bit more bling or personality if that's your thing. For everyone else (myself included) something personalised like this box from Not on the High Street is really striking and would mean a lot to any new mama.

5 - A really good quality blanket or muslin - and I mean really good quality. Something super soft and H-U-G-E in both cases. Even handmade if you can do that shizz. I have a Jojo's blanket that gets serious mileage and I adore the super sized muslins from Aden and Anais. Pricey but worth it.

And to get a Brucie Bonus take round a ready meal when you visit. Seriously. No new parent has time to cook - someone I know lived exclusively off biscuits for the first 10 days as they couldn't bring themselves to visit the shops. WTF?

What do you think of the above - any classics in there that you would be lost without? Anything I've missed? Make sure you let me know!

Anon

xxx Mama Mumbles xxx

Silent Sunday

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Review: Fill 'N' Squeeze Pouch Filler

Bean is just starting to venture into this crazy new world of 'solids'

I say 'solids' because he's pretty far away from actually eating anything solid yet, a whole heap of mush cleverly branded as purees is much more accurate.

As the Tasmanian Devil leaves less of a chaos in his wake than me, I have been strictly banned from making a mess in the kitchen by the Hubband (haw haw, would like to see the day that doesn't happen). I'm also not allowed to buy any more junk or 'juicers' as we call them in our house (a remnant of the fateful day I brought home a shiny new juicer, proceeded to juice pretty much everything bar the cat that afternoon and then never touched it again). Everything I buy has to have a purpose and be used. Regularly.

So it was with great excitement that I opened my newly purchased Fill 'n' Squeeze Pouch Filler as it promised me the ease and convenience of pouches but with all the smugness of homecooked sludge. (I bought mine from good ol' Amazon but Mr Google tells me you can buy these items from many retailers). 

 

It's basically 'just' a jug with a spout at the bottom on to which you insert a pouch. You chuck in your puree and plunge the, er,  plunger (is there a better verb than 'to plunge'?!) and hey presto you have a funky pouch to chuck in your bag, fridge, freezer and even the dishwasher when you are done with it. 

What I like the most about it is that you can puree the goods directly in the jug with a simple hand blender, so there's no need to get yet another appliance dirty. It also saves me faffing about with ice cube trays and plastic containers. Less dirties = less washing up for the Hubband for me. 

It's pretty easy to use even by cack-handed moi. Just be careful when you plunge as with too much force your pea puree pouch ends up being a pretty good rocket. And make sure you have the little yellow cap on whilst you are pureeing. Seriously.

I'd also like to see a wider spout as I can see this getting gunked up as we move onto meats and carbs. But I suppose it needs to fit the pouches so you can't win 'em all. 

The best bit by far is the price. 

I got mine for £20 and picked up some more reusable pouches (you get 5 in the starter kit). So it's a justifiable price even for the short time that you'll be using it before moving on to denser solids. I've used mine twice a day for a week already and I'm in that itchy, want-to-be-all-organised mood of wanting to crack it out again. I have serious appliance addiction.

Ok, so it's not an essential item, but it makes life a heck of a lot easier and that to me makes it a holy grail item! What are your holy grail products? Do you have any 'juicers' Let me know so I can max out my credit card again to try them out!

Anon, dear hearts,

xxx Mama Mumbles xxx

Disclaimer: I purchased this item independently and have not received any compensation for this review. I just like it and want you to know about it! All views are my own.

Was Your Mortgage Rejected Because You're Pregnant?

Idly listening to Radio 4 Money Box the other day (whilst applying fake tan… you know, yin/yang), I was shocked at the reports that some couples have had their mortgage application denied on account of a current pregnancy.

Now of course I was typically indignant at this and immediately turned up the volume. Surely this is discrimination and totally illegal?

It transpires that a number of providers had been turning down mortgage applications due to legitimate concerns about repayments if a woman does not return to work after maternity leave. Naturally a mortgage provider is right - indeed has an obligation - to enquire as to any upcoming events that may alter financial circumstances.
However, to refuse a mortgage purely on the grounds of pregnancy is indeed discriminatory and, according to the providers questioned on the programme, is not part of usual procedure. What they are allowed and should do is to ask relevant questions and then delve deeper into your individual circumstances to discern that way whether you are eligible for a mortgage. After all, you may already have plans to return to work, or an alternative cash-flow option if not. 
I really urge you to listen to the programme whether or not you are about to apply for a mortgage as some great advice was given. Indeed, it can be applied to any sort of monetary application process - pension, life insurance etc.

Have you had a similar experience in applying for a mortgage? Let me know what happened and how it got resolved.

Toodles,

xxx Mama Mumbles xxx

Mama's Reading List - a blog round-up

It's always difficult squeezing in time to read

But I've done some effective time-blocking to organise my week a little better, so I hope it's going to mean I can really capitalise on both my own writing and reading other people's blogs. And after all, it's always nice to share the love, so here are my favourite blogs this week:

NICE Birth Guidance - Head In Books writes superbly, really superbly, on one of this week's hot topic, that of NICE encouraging more homebirths.  She has a really elegant and non-judgemental writing style that I love to read.

What Makes A Good Parent - Ooh this is an emotive issue isn't it? Hurrah for Gin just nails it in a typically ironic way and her writing style makes me guffaw.

How Many Parent Points Did You Earn Today? - Not Another Mummy Blog serves another tongue-in-cheek look at coping strategies for the ravaged parent. This is going up on my fridge later. 

Benefit They're Real Push Up Liner - Pixiewoo blogged about this awesome new liner from Benefit. Is it a gel, is it a precision liner? Who cares, I just need it NOW.

Finally something that has broken my heart but given me a new found respect of humanity....

Today I Will Bury My Daughter So Do Me A Favour - David lost his daughter in the most tragic of circumstances but he and his brave family are handling their loss with such dignity and positivity it compels me to share their message. Please PLEASE share this as much as possible, I am stunned and inspired by this family. They are just incredible. 

So that are the cream of my crop this week. Better start writing some killer posts of my own so I can crop up on other people's blogs. 

Anon.

xxx Mama Mumbles xxx

Are more homebirths a good thing?

It seems that battlelines are perpetually drawn up between mothers and we are constantly pitted against each other.

Breast vs Bottle. Attachment vs Tiger parenting. Baby-led vs purées. The list is endless, and a lot of the time - I hate to say it - we don't help ourselves. The amount of times l hear "don't judge me but..." in conversations between friends or read it on blogs, as if we need to justify our own choices, is endless. So why should I be surprised that not everyone sees eye to eye after this week's reports that access to homebirths should be increased?
I've read some commentaries from natural birth 'missionaries' who, I'm sad to say, can be a bit self-righteous and forget that nature, in its infinite and tragic wisdom, sometimes has different plans; a fact for which I will be perennially grateful that I was born in the UK with access to the extraordinary NHS. 
And then on the other side of the fence are slightly prickly pears who, perhaps due to their own circumstances, seem to think that the aforementioned are out to make women feel inadequate for not having a natural birth.

Surely we should be celebrating a move towards greater choice for women

Of course this is a very generalised snapshot of the week's commentary, but it makes me sad that there is even an element of polarisation on such matters. Surely we should be celebrating a move towards greater choice for women to have, or to get closer to, the birth they want? Surely it's another win for women, another win for midwives and doulas, another win for our indefatigable maternity wards? To me, the key word in this is "uncomplicated". An uncomplicated pregnancy should allow for a wider choice in delivery, and homebirths are just another option from which to pick.
That being said, speaking from my own experiences only, I felt quite pressured to be induced and I was about as low-risk in pregnancy as you can get. It saddened me that somebody less researched and less gobby than me could feel pressured into medical intervention which, for me, was pretty unnecessary. 

We shouldn't be passive in the process.

I suppose it just comes back to that old adage of "each to their own" but also a reminder to us women that we shouldn't be passive in the process. Research. Ask questions. Probe. If you want a particular type of birth then work to get it, or at least as close as you can. I didn't have the beautiful water-birth in the MLU as I'd had my heart set on, but I got as close as I could under the circumstances and as a result had a really positive experience that I felt in control of. 

I want every woman to have the same. 

I can't fart for you - the role of a mum

A few weeks ago a friend of mine was struggling with her baby who had trapped wind. My pal was doing all the usual things: bicycling the bubba's legs, rubbing her tummy, giving her a colic massage etc but still bubba screamed and grunted and grizzled. Exasperated, my pal said "Come on darling, I can't fart for you".

Now, this made me chuckle at the time, but actually, the more I thought about it the more of an epiphany it became. At the time, my days were spent tending to Bean's needs and guiding him towards some semblance of a pattern of eating, feeding and sleeping. I'd tie myself into knots if I couldn't get him to perform the requested action at the relevant time or if my efforts to alleviate his grizzles were met with red-faced, howling dismay.

At times it was gang warfare, I tell you.

Then it hit me like a thunderbolt. "I can't fart for you".

I can help him fart but I can't actually fart for him. I can help him fall asleep, but I can't fall asleep for him. I can help soothe his cries but, ultimately, he has to be the person to calm himself down.

Once I allowed myself not to be the panacea for every single complaint or grizzle, once I allowed myself not to know the answer, life became so much easier. It's not my job to know everything, it's my job to try my best at guiding him towards his own independence.

And so it has become my new mantra. "I can't fart for you". Why don't you try it next time your Bean is giving you a hard time? At the very least it might just make you smirk and if nothing else, that always helps.

Do you have any go-to phrases that keep you from sticking your head in the oven? Make sure you let me know!

Much love

Mama Mumbles xoxo

Routines, I've had a few...

I wanted to write a post about the horny issue of routines, but I might have to leave that until I have a few more minutes to spare (also known as when the Bean is asleep and I can actually dedicate my attention to one thing in earnest).

So in the meantime, here's the current timeline we are following. I aim for this each day, but as we go to classes at varying times each day, I can't be too rigid about it. If I get it 80% on target then I can be guaranteed a happy, cheeky bubba.

Bean is currently 20 weeks (just over 4.5 months) and we've been following this for ooh maybe 4-5 weeks now… perhaps a little more!


7:30am - Feed, usually a breastfeed.
9am - 9:30am - Nap, back in cot
10:15am - if we're going to a class, we'll leave around now, otherwise nap until:
11am - Feed (classes permitting), usually 9oz from the bottle
1pm - Nap, ideally back in cot
3pm - Feed, usually 9oz from the bottle
5pm - a little catnap of no longer than 45 mins
6pm - General distractions to get through the tortuous hour before bedtime routine.

[Any tips on what to do for that last witching hour??! Usually we go for a wander round the garden, watch a bit of telly (argh!) or do some bouncing in his doorway bouncer. Anything to fend off the CrankyPants.]

Then the bedtime routine is pretty fixed:

7pm - Feed, usually 5oz
7:20pm - into bath. Let him have a massive kick around and wear himself out
7:30pm - massage with the lights down low and singing the same 'lullabies'*
7:45pm - into PJs and sleeping back. Dummy in and story (we're favouring the Mr Men series at the moment).
7:50pm - final 'lullaby', cuddle and lights out.

We put him to sleep with a white noise machine on (he currently favours 'Calm Waves'… !) and a star projection. I'll write more about our night-time arsenal a bit later because we do have a few tricks, but these are the most important.

We'll then wake him for a feed about 10pm which at the moment is 9oz, but I think I may start cutting back on this as he's taking less and less in the morning now.

I am blessed with a boy who sleeps through, and has done since about 8 weeks. We had to do some dummy-training around 12 weeks as he was waking up pretty frequently looking for a dummy but other than that he's been a delight.

I'm a big BIG fan of the 10pm, I'm certain that this is one of the reasons he goes so long. For us it's less about a dreamfeed and more about a feed. If he stays asleep, great, but 90% of the time he's properly awake. I know a few of my friends haven't got on with it so well but I'd really recommend trying it out and giving it time to stick. There's lots of different versions of this feed, in terms of how you handle it (fully awake or treat it like a night feed etc etc) so just experiment with what works for you.

Right anon, dear hearts, the grocery shop calls.

xxx Mama Mumbles xxx

* I don't actually know any lullabies, so we do Jazz classics instead, usually starting with a bit of Fleetwood Mac and finishing with Mama Cass. Whevs.

Leave the poor lass alone

So a few weeks ago, we had news that Kate Middleton is pregnant again… if you were to believe the tabloids and gossip mags that is. Then only a matter of days later, it was deemed she couldn’t be, because she dared to have some wine whilst visiting a vineyard in New Zealand.

This story has aggravated me on so many levels, even putting aside the whole press harassment / Diana argument. The poor girl had the announcement of her first, historic, pregnancy ripped away from her so can’t we at least grant her the privacy to reveal any future pregnancies in her own time? And, what’s more, why does having a glass of wine therefore mean she can’t be pregnant? Oh yes, of course, it’s because if any pregnant woman is irresponsible enough to have a modest amount of alcohol in isolated incidents during gestation then she will have a baby with three heads and be condemned to eternal damnation… Thus spake the gospel according to the misinformed maternity militia whose only purpose seems to be spreading half-truths and scaremonger. 

There seems to be this parallel universe you enter into when you are pregnant or a new mum that gives others some sort of right to tell you how to live your life, whether they are aware of current guidelines or not. And even more aggravating, the frequency with which said guidelines change is mind-boggling! Even in the short period between my pre and post-pregnancy chapters, the pendulum on the guidelines for alcohol consumption has swung from one end to the other and back again! Then there’s the u-turns on sushi, hair dye, soft cheese, deep space voyages… Ok so maybe not the last but you get my gist. Thankfully, I came across a ruddy good read, Pregnancy for Modern Girls which gave me much needed frank and down to earth advice amongst the myriads of contradictory and confusing tomes dictating “What to Expect” and the like (By the way, What to Expect is about as much use as a chocolate teapot if you want my opinion - stop telling me not to do something and then tell me not to worry if I’ve done it as it’s unlikely to harm my baby!!) Together with the well-researched Bumpology, Pregnancy for Modern Girls cut to the chase, didn’t preach and presented both sides of story wherever possible. Which was just what I needed; and so after considering how I (not anyone else) felt on the matter, I happily ordered an occasional glass of Pinot with my  goat’s cheese salad. After all, I reasoned, you can’t tell me the French don’t have an occasional bite of brie whilst up the duff.

I’m sure that if I’d had a higher risk pregnancy or had a heartbreaking history of miscarriages and TTC I’d have acted differently, but as it was, I didn’t so I made informed choices for my situation. And yet so many people felt the need to comment or pre-suppose - “Oh you won’t be wanting wine”, “I don’t think you can eat prawns” - which then put me in the uncomfortable situation of justifying my actions. 

Look, I’m not trying to say that when you’re pregnant you should go out and get sloshed. Nor am I saying that you should simply ignore official guidance, even though it does seem to change every fourth minute and is pretty much impossible to keep up with. What I am saying is taking a common sense approach, consider the evidence (both anecdotal and scientific), weigh up the risks for your own circumstances and then proceed accordingly. But for goodness’ sake stay out of other people’s business, and leave the poor Duchess of Cambridge alone!

Errr, now what?

So I thought I’d start a blog as a way to document and help muddle through my existence as a new mum. This crazy new world I’m living in has so many different things to talk about, discover and share it seems only natural to take to the web with it. Just like every other mum out there it seems!


Problem is I don’t know how to start! What to say… How to say it…I thought I was pretty tech-savvy but it turns out the world has moved at such a lick I’m in danger of being left behind. Not to mention the fact that as soon as my fingers hit the keyboard I get a serious case of the ———//


So I suppose this is a little plea to bear with my whilst I’m trying to figure out what this little corner of internet real estate is all about. And also to bear with me on any typos as it’s likely I’m typing with a smelly, wriggly babba on my lap.


So catch up with you again real soon with some actual content but in the meantime…


xxx Mama Mumbles xxx