It seems that battlelines are perpetually drawn up between mothers and we are constantly pitted against each other.
Breast vs Bottle. Attachment vs Tiger parenting. Baby-led vs purées. The list is endless, and a lot of the time - I hate to say it - we don't help ourselves. The amount of times l hear "don't judge me but..." in conversations between friends or read it on blogs, as if we need to justify our own choices, is endless. So why should I be surprised that not everyone sees eye to eye after this week's reports that access to homebirths should be increased?
I've read some commentaries from natural birth 'missionaries' who, I'm sad to say, can be a bit self-righteous and forget that nature, in its infinite and tragic wisdom, sometimes has different plans; a fact for which I will be perennially grateful that I was born in the UK with access to the extraordinary NHS.
And then on the other side of the fence are slightly prickly pears who, perhaps due to their own circumstances, seem to think that the aforementioned are out to make women feel inadequate for not having a natural birth.
Surely we should be celebrating a move towards greater choice for women
Of course this is a very generalised snapshot of the week's commentary, but it makes me sad that there is even an element of polarisation on such matters. Surely we should be celebrating a move towards greater choice for women to have, or to get closer to, the birth they want? Surely it's another win for women, another win for midwives and doulas, another win for our indefatigable maternity wards? To me, the key word in this is "uncomplicated". An uncomplicated pregnancy should allow for a wider choice in delivery, and homebirths are just another option from which to pick.
That being said, speaking from my own experiences only, I felt quite pressured to be induced and I was about as low-risk in pregnancy as you can get. It saddened me that somebody less researched and less gobby than me could feel pressured into medical intervention which, for me, was pretty unnecessary.
We shouldn't be passive in the process.
I suppose it just comes back to that old adage of "each to their own" but also a reminder to us women that we shouldn't be passive in the process. Research. Ask questions. Probe. If you want a particular type of birth then work to get it, or at least as close as you can. I didn't have the beautiful water-birth in the MLU as I'd had my heart set on, but I got as close as I could under the circumstances and as a result had a really positive experience that I felt in control of.
I want every woman to have the same.
