I can't fart for you - the role of a mum

A few weeks ago a friend of mine was struggling with her baby who had trapped wind. My pal was doing all the usual things: bicycling the bubba's legs, rubbing her tummy, giving her a colic massage etc but still bubba screamed and grunted and grizzled. Exasperated, my pal said "Come on darling, I can't fart for you".

Now, this made me chuckle at the time, but actually, the more I thought about it the more of an epiphany it became. At the time, my days were spent tending to Bean's needs and guiding him towards some semblance of a pattern of eating, feeding and sleeping. I'd tie myself into knots if I couldn't get him to perform the requested action at the relevant time or if my efforts to alleviate his grizzles were met with red-faced, howling dismay.

At times it was gang warfare, I tell you.

Then it hit me like a thunderbolt. "I can't fart for you".

I can help him fart but I can't actually fart for him. I can help him fall asleep, but I can't fall asleep for him. I can help soothe his cries but, ultimately, he has to be the person to calm himself down.

Once I allowed myself not to be the panacea for every single complaint or grizzle, once I allowed myself not to know the answer, life became so much easier. It's not my job to know everything, it's my job to try my best at guiding him towards his own independence.

And so it has become my new mantra. "I can't fart for you". Why don't you try it next time your Bean is giving you a hard time? At the very least it might just make you smirk and if nothing else, that always helps.

Do you have any go-to phrases that keep you from sticking your head in the oven? Make sure you let me know!

Much love

Mama Mumbles xoxo